Proud to be a Filthy Liberal Scum

Loud, Proud and I don't care about hurting a conservative's feelings!

An Open Letter To Bristol Palin

Dear Bristol,

I understand you’ve been complaining that President Obama should be calling you like he did Sandra Fluke anytime now to apologize for people making fun of you and your family. I think you misunderstand what he was calling about. You see, Sandra Fluke, a law student, went to Congress to argue for women’s health. She was attacked and insulted by a sleazy ex-drug addict that was once arrested after coming back from the Dominican Republic with a bottle of Viagra and a bunch of guys (it’s called “sexual tourism” and you have to pay for the sex). Her plea that birth control pills be covered by insurance because of the many vital health benefits, aside from contraception, they provide was earnest and moving. You wouldn’t know that, of course, because you didn’t watch that footage. You got the Fox News/Rush Limbaugh version in which she was having so much sex, the cost of her pills were too expensive to pay on her own. What a slut. Except she wasn’t and only very stupid people think that is what she was arguing for.

You and your family, on the other hand, have been using your mother’s celebrity to enrich yourselves in the most meaningless of ways. Even after you got knocked up while still in high school (using the pill might have averted that, you know) you dutifully followed your mother’s lead in denouncing the horrors of proper sexual education. If you, yourself, couldn’t keep that aspirin between your knees, what makes you and, more importantly, your mother, think you are in the position to tell other young women to “just say no?” That makes both of you hypocrites.

Really, what it comes down to is that Sandra Fluke is a strong, intelligent woman that believes in something greater than herself. You are a shallow little girl that would have been just another high school dropout with a kid if your mother  hadn’t been famous. You’re a D-list celebrity somewhere in between Snooki and Victoria Jackson and just as lacking in relevance.

I assume your “open letter” to the president (who wrote it for you, btw?) is the same kind of desperate bid for attention your mother is known for. I guess you’ll continue to follow in mom’s footsteps, spouting empty headed umbrage about topics you are manifestly incapable of understanding. How nice. Maybe after you graduate from college (if you even go in the first place) you’ll have something worthwhile to say. I shan’t be holding my breath, though.

UPDATE: Holy crap! Reader Brodie Verworn points out that Obama already came to Bristol’s defense in 2008:

I have heard some of the news on this and so let me be as clear as possible. I have said before and I will repeat again, I think people’s families are off limits, and people’s children are especially off limits. This shouldn’t be part of our politics, it has no relevance to governor Palin’s performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president. And so I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18. And how family deals with issues and teenage children that shouldn’t be the topic of our politics and I hope that anybody who is supporting me understands that is off limits.

Palin (both of them) wishes she had a fraction of his class.

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9 thoughts on “An Open Letter To Bristol Palin

  1. She may not know what ‘umbrage’ means.

  2. Bristol didn’t write her post, though. She’s being used by her moron mother again. She’s just an idiot who doesn’t know how stupid she looks.

  3. Fremarsch on said:

    Every word that Bill Maher has used to describe Sarah and Bristol has been accurate. Rush Slimebaugh on the other hand needs to come out of the closet!

  4. Redret on said:

    Are recovering alcoholics and narcotic abusers who counsel others hypocrites then? When you attack others with names like moron and idiot and laugh when Maher slams those you don’t like but take “umbrage” with those who attack your faves we know who the hypocrites are. Seriously, I support Fluke over Palin but I will never convince the ambivalent if my tactics are as hateful as Limbaughs’s.

    • No, they’re not, but since none of the Palins seem to have practiced abstinence before marriage. Sarah certainly didn’t and so far two of her children got knocked up/did the knocking. At least Track had a shotgun wedding and wasn’t a teenager at the time. Further, unless Bristol is being chaste while dating, then the word “hypocrite” still applies.

  5. sarah on said:

    thank you. the palin letter annoyed me on many levels. my first response was “but wait, you really did get pregnant in high school!” Bill Maher may have used crass language, but he told the truth.

  6. David Heffelfinger on said:

    I question whether anything comes from taking the bait,
    then singing a response back to the choir.
    Liberals need a way to ignore the stupidity.
    How about a simple line like …
    Today I am ignoring the stupidity from the “Bimbo Clan ”
    Woody

  7. I just clicked on the Bristol blog link…I feel dirty…I think my eyes are bleeding…

  8. terryc1101 on said:

    I have had it with Wasilla Hillbillies.

    Someone needs to sit that entire clan of grifters down and explain to them that the ONLY reason Sarah was picked by McCain as his running mate was because he has contempt for women and thought we were so stupid we would vote for him because he had a female running mate. Never mind that I detest everything Sarah Palin stands for and would never vote Republican no matter who they ran. Sarah Palin is a quitter who never developed emotionally or mentally beyond age 14 and I just wish she and her white trash family would disappear back into obscurity.

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