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Yes, Virginia, The Conservative Movement Is Explicitly Racist

Who is Phyllis Schlafly and the Eagle Forum? She’s the original Ann Coulter. Sort of. The EF has been active in conservative circles for decades and is one of the leading “anti-feminist” groups. Schlafly is also a blatant racist and the Eagle Forum has wholeheartedly embraced the idea that the browning of America is the worst thing to ever happen:

“It is not a good thing. The immigrants do not share American values, so it is a good bet that they will not be voting Republican when they start voting in large numbers.” But immigrants cannot vote until they become citizens meaning that they jumped through hoops those of us born here do not. They had to work for that right which makes them arguably more American. Or are we talking about their children? The ones born and raised here? I wonder if EF thinks that the children of Irish or German immigrants do not share American values? Oh wait, those are white people. You know, REAL Americans. – FLS

“Instead, the USA is being transformed by immigrants who do not share those values, and who have high rates of illiteracy, illegitimacy, and gang crime, and they will vote Democrat when the Democrats promise them more food stamps.” Not that the right wing’s war on public education could POSSIBLY have anything to do with that and we all know that only dirty brown people use food stamps, anyway. – FLS

These people are deeply embedded in the conservative movement and have guided its evolution for a very long time. They are not fringe players. Seriously, how blatant does it have to be? Does Mitt Romney have to put on a pointed hood and burn a cross? Does John Boehner have to dress up in black face? What, precisely, will it take for people to stop denying that racism is inherent in conservative politics in a way it could never be in liberal politics?

Early Morning Metal! Pantera: Walk!

Because nothing open your eyes like metal!

Re! Spect! Walk! Are you talking to me?!

Standard Right Wing Propaganda

I try not to pay attention to these things but sometimes the stupid is so thick I just can’t resist.

What you have here is the usual deliberate distortion from the right. And it IS deliberate. It’s possible that the person who made this picture is actually so profoundly ignorant that they think this is accurate but I seriously doubt it. After months of the phrase “trans-vaginal ultrasound” being tossed around and the magical power of the internet that can show what that is as quickly as you can type it, I can only conclude that the point is to mislead gullible idiots. How else would a person confuse a regular ultrasound for a T-V ultrasound?

Just so you know, this particular picture was posted on April 21, long after the controversy started.

A further deliberate distortion is that liberals think abortion is “non-invasive.” This insinuates that we think it is no big deal. Nobody thinks this. We think it’s a traumatic and heart-wrenching decision to make but absolutely private and no one else’s business. Our goal is to make them safe and as rare as possible. Conservatives think pregnancy is a divine punishment for women having sex and want to do everything they can to ensure as many “punishment pregnancies” possible. Why else do you think they oppose contraception and sex ed so bitterly?

This is how the right debases political and moral debates in this country. Liberals says, “We want to keep violent criminals from buying guns” and a conservative will claim we said, “Ban all guns.” Liberals say, “We want everyone to have access to healthcare” and a conservative will claim we said, “Kill the sick and elderly.” Liberals say, “America is open to all religions, not just Christianity” and a conservative will claim we said, “Ban Christianity and the Bible.”

This is how people who are afraid to confront their own failings respond. Rather than simply admit their greed or fear or prejudice, they mischaracterize our positions to make it easier on their conscience when they oppose us. If conservatives would only be honest about their motivations, we could have an honest conversation but that will never happen as long as the political platform of the right is built on hate and anger.

Today In Geekdom: How To Zombieproof Your House

Of course, any REAL zombie enthusiast knows that land mines don’t kill zombies, just take off a leg or two making them potentially harder to spot in tall grass. Also, razor wire is pointless for a zombie attack as they will simply shred the skin off their bones to get through it. Not much of an impediment. The wall is not high enough and there is no way to escape the guard towers in case it gets surrounded. Also, hunting rifles are indispensable for compound defense against the walking dead. They’re cheaper, easier to procure and the ammo is most plentiful. They also have superior range with night vision scopes available.

Overall, I give this set up a C-. Good for a localized, Class 2 outbreak but risky for a class 3. A class 4 outbreak would overrun this house within an hour.

The Republican Alphabet

Most people don’t know this, but Michelle Bachmann used to teach a remedial English course. She started with the basics:

A is for Anti-Christ. See B & O.

B is for Barack – Isn’t that an “exotic” name for a President? George, Ronald and Sarah are far more American sounding.

C is for Christ, who informs all of my decisions, including the ones where I discriminate against the poor and sick. Just like He would!

D is for Death panels and they’re coming to unplug Grandma!

E is for Electoral campaign finance reform. AHAHAHAHAAHH! Just kidding! The letter E is brought to you by, well, I don’t really have to tell you that anymore, do I?

F is for Fascism!!! BE READY TO VIOLENTLY FIGHT THE FASCIST LIBERAL GOVERNMENT AT ANY TIME!!! Nothing bad ever happens when you live your life by this doctrine. If it does, it’s an isolated incident (see I).

G is for God, Guns & Guts. Everything a population needs to run a country wisely.

H is for Health care reform. Get the guns; they’re coming for Grandma again!

I(1) is for Immigration. “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” and I will do everything in my power to disenfranchise and demonize them as a way to maintain the White (not white, White, how many times do I have to clarify that?) hegemony.

I(2) is for Isolated Incident. These unfortunate events that only appear to have been instigated by violent rhetoric are totally unrelated to any other letter in this list (See A,B,D,F,G,H,L,N,O,P,U,X).  Unless the offender is a liberal, then it’s MSNBC’s fault.

J is for Jesus. I can never have too much of him in my life and I want to make sure he’s part of YOURS too, whether you like it or not.

K is for Kansas and Kentucky where evolution is a four letter word. No, seriously, our education system is so bad we can’t spell but wee no wi ain’t relaytuhd 2 no munkey!

L is for Liberal. Liberals hate you and everything about you. They’re plotting to take over the country by force. They also happen to be total wimps and weaklings who hate guns. How are wimps and weaklings without guns going to take over the country? Please see Q.

M is for Marriage between a man and a woman ONLY. Even if it’s Brittany Spears’ 55 hour marriage, it’s still sacred, dammit!

N(1) is for Nazi. Nazis want to destroy America. Anyone who disagrees with you is one of these.

N(2) is for Nig…well I won’t say THAT word about those people or the liberal thought police will come for me but I think you know what I mean (wink wink).

O is for Obama. See N(1) and N(2).

P is for President 1.The highest office of the land. The most powerful man in the world (for now…Palin in 2012!), deserving of our respect and admiration and love and full support during a time of war 2. A secret Muslim foreigner terrorist sympathizer that is out to kill you and all you hold dear. It depends on who we are talking about. See O.

Q is for questions. Never ask any. Ever. About anything.

R is for Ronald Reagan. Ronnie represented a righteous religious revival and rapacious right-wing Republican revolution that ruined Russia. It doesn’t matter that, by the time he left office, he was unable to repeat or understand the previous sentence.

S(1) is for Sarah Palin. Sister Sarah symbolizes strength, serenity, sweetness and street smarts. She supports several serious stances on society’s struggles. Which ones? All potential interviewers please see Q.

S(2) is for Science which is Satan’s tool. Again, please see Q.

T is for Tea Party. The Tea Party tactlessly trampled through a thicket of town halls by throwing tenacious televised tantrums about terrible tax increases that never happened. “Alliteration? That one of them fancy college words for taking away my Medicare?”

U is for Us vs. Them.

V is for Voting. Voting is a God given right that we would NEVER think of interfering with by gerrymandering Congressional districts, underfunding voting machines in low income areas, mailing fliers to African Americans with false information, using robo-call centers to convince Hispanics to not vote in protest or anything else you can think of. If you do think of anything else, whatever you do, please don’t suggest it your local GOP campaign headquarters. (1-800-drty-trk)

W is for Wealth redistribution. What goes up must never come down. That would be class warfare!

X is for Xenophobia (courtesy of Chuck Hutchings). “HELLO? WHICH. WAY. TO. THE. BATHROOM? EL BANO? DO. YOU. SPEAK. AMERICAN? Good lord, I hate Canada!”

Y Is for Yesterday when things were so much better than they are today. Women and Negroes knew their place and pinko commie liberals were blacklisted. Don’t you wish we could go back to those good ol’ days? So do we and we’re trying as hard as we can!

Z is for Zero accountability (courtesy of Dave Mann). Words are completely powerless. If words had ANY kind of power at all, our Founding Fathers would have used them to declare our independence or elevated them to first among our rights. So stop blaming every death threat, attempted assassination, anti-government militia and shooting spree on us. It was an isolated incident. They all isolated incidents! See I(2)

Early Morning Metal: Run To The Hills!

Because nothing opens your eyes like METAL!

Why is metal better than pop? Because 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of pop is about A. Baby, I love you B. Baby, why don’t you love me? C. Baby, I love you but I’m leaving you D. Baby, I love you. Why are you leaving me? E. Baby, I don’t love you anymore F. Baby, I love you and I’m sorry I cheated on you G. Are you seeing a pattern here?

On the other hand, metal gives you songs like this:

Now Why Wouldn’t The Police Want To Be Recorded Beating Up Protesters?

We’re #1! We’re #1! Well, actually, we’re #22 in press freedom. Why? Because our militarized police force has taken great issue with all these pesky citizens and journalists exercising their First Amendment right to record the use of excessive force against undeserving civilians. Particularly, this is has been a problem at the hundreds of Occupy protests as the police have repeatedly resorted to brutality to “make a point.” Following this smorgasbord of authoritarian fun has been a chaser of suppression of the press. Denying access, threatening journalists, arresting people and stealing confiscating cameras and cell phones, the police have done more to trample the Constitution then any Tea Party conspiracy could dream of. Funny that you don’t see the right screaming about this all that much. Of course, most of it is directed at the dirty hippie liberals of the Occupy movement so it doesn’t count, does it? Stupid bastards. What? Like it’ll stay that way? Once it becomes normalized and acceptable, no one will be safe.

Hell, the cops are trying to get the Supreme Court to rule that they can use tasers to ensure compliance in non-violent situations as opposed to self-defense or as an alternative to lethal force. Refuse to sign a speeding ticket? Tase. Not crossing the street fast enough? Tase. How nice.

I can’t imagine why the police wouldn’t want that on Youtube…

Today In Geekdom: I Am ZIIIIIIMMMM! Obey Me!

Would it be weird for a 38 year old to wear these? I DON’T CARE! Gimme!

If you don’t know who or what Invader Zim is, you have my deepest sympathies. Here’s a little taste of the madness!

It’s Official. I Prefer My Local Mom-N-Pop Hardware Store.

Last week I picked up a broom from my local hardware store. Unfortunately, it fell apart. Grrrr… So I took it back today and asked for another. The manager took a look at it and checked the other brooms. They all come apart the same way. He was not amused. Apparently it’s a new kind and he was not aware of this…flaw. He took it into the backroom, drilled a hole and put a screw in, which is what the manufacturer should have done but was too cheap to bother. Perfectly good broom now.

I find it VERY unlikely I would get that kind of service at Home Depot. Add that to the fact that the co-founder is a Republican douchebag and, yeah, I’m not going back unless I absolutely have to.

Not So Early Morning Metal: Everything Dies

An observation I once made to my friend: This video proves that no matter how many tattoos you have or how heavy your metal, no one can look tough while playing an electronic keyboard.

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